Monthly Archives: June 2016

Jun30

A GOOD ONE

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It’s 11:35 p.m. on June 29, 2016. The last few minutes of my birthday are ticking away.  It’s been a very good birthday. A delicious birthday dinner prepared by my younger daughter, surrounded by my family.  My favorite cake and birthday song as my grandsons sit on my lap and help me to blow out the candles. A day at the beach and swimming at the pool with my daughters and grandsons. Special time together.  Nothing over the top.  Just quiet, happy, precious time together.

Unlike years past when I usually get depressed on my birthday, today I am satisfied. Usually, I’m very good at beating myself up on my natal day with the coulda…woulda…shoulda’s.  You see, I’ve only recently realized that I set my goals way too high at a very early age, and each passing year reminds me of what I didn’t accomplish and never will. Then I look into the future of a very narrow passageway and know that time is running out on the things I used to want to do.

IMG_2095But this year, I’m not thinking too much about the future.  I’m trying just to focus on and enjoy this day and all the joys it is bringing me. I’m trying to live life that way in general.  Just one day at time doing what I can with what I have and not dwelling on loftier things. I’m learning to accept what is instead of beating myself up over what isn’t. I am standing on even ground.

I looked over at my daughters this afternoon as they were watching a video on one of their phones together. They were laughing over something then looked thoughtful over something else. They didn’t know I was watching them. In that moment the thought “you did good” came to mind. Look at what I did. Those two wonderful daughters of mine turned out to be very good people.  Kind and smart and loving and generous and beautiful inside and out.  And I had something to do with that. And that is enough. They are the pride and joy of my life. When I look at them, the need to do more, be more, have more vanishes.  And when my twin grandsons run to me and greet me like I’m a rock star with their gleeful smiles screaming, “Mimi, Mimi!” I know there is nothing better in this world.

As I drove home tonight, I was thinking that this year my birthday is different.  This year I am happy. I yearn for nothing in this moment.  Sure, life has not been easy.  Who has an easy life? And many dreams did not come true.  So what? How many people live a fairy tale life? But the fact that my family loves me enough to plan a special day to celebrate my birth – well, how great is that?! And what more of a dream come true could there be?IMG_1193

It’s 12:17 a.m.,  June 30th.  My birthday is over for another year. I re-read my cards and come across one from my 88 year-old (ex) mother-in-law, who still thinks of me as her daughter, and it reads, “Sweetest Birthday Wishes to You….May each moment of your birthday be filled with the sweetest memories.” At the bottom of the card she writes, I like to remember the good ones, I hope you do, too.  I love you!  Mom

 This was a good one. I’ll remember and cherish it forever.

 

 

Jun24

THEY DON’T MAKE MEN LIKE THEY USED TO

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I recently watched a movie called “The Intern.” Robert DeNiro plays a 70-year-old retired widower who is lonely and bored, so he applies for and gets a position as a senior intern to Anne Hathaway in a fresh, new start-up internet clothing company. The employees are young hipsters dressed in “super casual” clothing, shirts untucked, hoodies, some unkempt with messy hair. They are all “chill.”

DeniroAnd there’s Ben (DeNiro) completely comfortable in a suit and tie, impeccably groomed and standing out like a sore thumb in this workplace. Always saying and doing the right thing…honest, trustworthy, reliable and self-confident. These are the kind of men I worked with way back when. Gentlemen. Professionals.  People who ran companies with compassion and treated their staff with respect. The movie rekindled memories of some of them. John Murphy. Al Carlton. Gene Smith. The best of the best. The cream of the crop. Men who respected me as an employee, treated me fairly, complimented my efficiency, leaned on my business support and valued and appreciated my knowledge and skills. They made me feel like somebody.

I’ve struggled in the past few years finding that echelon of workplace integrity. I’ve come across leadership that is shallow and self-centered. Interactions are mostly technology-based.  People stare at their phones as they walk by to avoid eye contact. There is an aloofness and a disconnect. Yes, I’m getting older, and it’s hard to fit into this new business world, let alone find a place in which to belong.

I miss my old bosses. I miss the way things used to be. Ben eventually worked his way into the hearts of his co-workers with his old-fashioned ways.  Some began to emulate him.  It was heart-warming for me to reminisce. And I still hold out hope that people like these still exist in our business world.