Monthly Archives: July 2013

REVERSE BUCKET LIST

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imagesMy brother and I were driving along when we came upon a car trailing an 18-foot boat with a Yamaha V6 200 HP motor on the back.  “What’s he doing with such a big motor on a little boat?” Ken asked. “He probably tows water skiers,” I remarked.  Then I added, “Another thing I would never do…water ski.” He said, “Yes, just add that to your reverse bucket list.”

Bucket lists.  Do you have one?  Some people like to list all the amazing things they want to accomplish before their lives are over.  Me?  My bucket list is in reverse.  It’s things I would never do in my life.  Yes, I guess I’m definitely not an adventurous girl. I was in my younger years when  I did some incredibly crazy stuff.  It’s amazing that I survived at all, really. As I get older I find that the bravery and daring I once possessed is now kind of going by the wayside.  Maybe it’s partly due to getting older and wiser and realizing that I really don’t want to do anything that’s going to cut my life even shorter than it already is as the tunnel of my future narrows. Maybe it’s just the realization that some things are just tempting fate with stupidity.

I don’t think my list of stuff I wouldn’t do is over-the-top silly as far as what most people would or wouldn’t do, but I thought it would be fun to name some.  So here is my Reverse Bucket List of things I will never do in my life:

  1. Swimming in the same waters where sharks live. This includes surfing, paddle boarding, spear fishing, water skiing and scuba diving.  I mean, have you seen all the “JAWS” movies?  Watch them and take notes.  Maybe then you will understand how and why I feel the way I do. I’m also not a big fan of the tuba or the keys of E or F that are played as the secret announcement of the appearance of this man-eating predator in the movies.
  2. Eating crickets or grasshoppers or any insects in any food product including chocolate covered.  All I can say is, “Yuk!”  I also won’t be a contestant on any “Survivors” shows mainly because of this insect-eating thing, but I know I don’t even have to expand on the why not’s of the reasons I wouldn’t be on that show. Not that they would ask me.
  3. Anything that involves extreme heights.  Hang gliding, parasailing, rock climbing, parachuting out of a plane, scaling Mt.Everest or the Matterhorn or even just looking down from the Empire State Building. All I can say is “VERTIGO!” I did go to the Grand Canyon once but spent the day in a cold sweat only briefly glancing at the spectacular views.  I mostly spent the bulk of the time browsing the gift shops in avoidance.
  4. Walking barefoot across a path of red-hot lava rocks. That’s a no-brainer
  5. Spending 20 hours on a plane to fly to Australia. I mean, I’d love to see the Great Barrier Reef and am very fond of kangaroos and all, but no, 20 hours in a plane just isn’t going to happen for me. Although maybe if I had the chance, I might rethink this one.
  6. Horror movies of any kind, but with an emphasis on anything involving chain saws, Freddie Krueger or dolls that come alive and murder people. I just lose too much sleep thinking about it afterwards, and sleeping on some nights is already a challenge without the adage of recalling blood-covered corpses. That’s a definite no.
  7. Attending any kind of heavy metal concert, if there is still such things, because I don’t really need my hearing to be impaired any more than it already is.
  8. Snow skiing.  First, I wouldn’t go up on a ski lift because of the height thing, and an added negative would be breaking my leg. Who needs that? I’m already taking calcium for my bones, thank you very much.
  9. Entering a hot dog eating contest…or pie eating….or anything where you gorge yourself for a prize and then throw up. This just doesn’t appeal to me in any way.
  10. Going on a cruise of any kind.  If I’m hauled up in a tiny room under sea level and then have to worry about the boat sinking, the old reverse bucket list number one fear of sharks is multiplied tenfold. I don’t care how good the food is.

This is just a sampling. Things are always cropping up from day by day.  You never know what I’ll avoid next.  I think nowadays if I really wanted to do something that was dangerously adventurous and daring, I might just skip my blood pressure pill for one night and see what happens. Whew!  Now there’s an adrenaline rush for you!

Would love to hear your comments on what’s on your own Reverse Bucket List…

 

 

 

 

 

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SWEATAPHOBIA

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SweatingThe weather outside is frightening here in New Jersey, and if you live anywhere in the vicinity, you know I’m not talking about snow and ice. I mean, it…is…stifling! With the heat index making it feel like 103 degrees in the shade, even breathing this humidity-laden vapor is an effort.  Walking from your home to the car or vise versa is enough to generate a steady stream of sweat right down the middle of your back. You know what I’m talking about. I mean, sweating is just gross!

Right about this time of year is when I declare that I will NEVER complain about the freezing cold temperatures of winter EVER again.  But, as always, right about mid-January when the yearning for snow for Christmas has passed, I will start.  It’s inevitable. I mean, wouldn’t it be great to be bundled up in your cozy jacket as the temperature dips below 50 degrees right about now?  Let’s close our eyes and just imagine…I’m feeling better already.  Fantasy rocks!

My parents were fan people. (Sounds cult-ish, doesn’t it?) In my Mom’s words, they just didn’t “care for” air conditioning.   Don’t ask me why.  Instead, they insisted that the “breeze” generated from a few strategically-placed fans on each floor of our split level home was enough to create a cross breeze that would cool the entire house down. My Dad served in the army infantry, therefore, somehow became an expert in the field of fan placement. Did it work? Not so much. Plus, wanting to be heard over the roar of these appliances would require a megaphone, so not much talking went on in our house in the summer. I mean that house in August was deafening! Plus, I can still recall waking up drenched in sweat since the fan breeze thing just wasn’t doing it for me.  No wonder I spent most of the summer immersed in our neighborhood pool.

Now let me say two words that will fix this sweataphobia….air conditioning.  Let’s have a collective AAAHHH!…  Wikipedia defines air conditioning as the process of altering the properties of air (primarily temperature and humidity) to more favorable conditions.  All I can say to that is AMEN! Alter away!

Air conditioning.  What would we do without it? It belongs in the same category as the little things in life that we take for granted, so let’s have these sweltering temperatures be a reminder to be grateful for those little things in life that in reality turn out to be quite large. Things like the purr of that Trane compressor blowing out its cooling breeze across our steamy bodies as we cozy up for a long summer’s nap.

Give a shout out to that major appliance designed to change the air temperature to a comfortable 68 degrees. Hip hip hooray!

Keep cool.

HEARTFELT THANKS TO OUR MILITARY

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Happy-july-4th-with-sparklers

Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose…

Not sure I agree with the words of Kris Kristofferson regarding the song he wrote for Janis Joplin. Of course, he wasn’t speaking of freedom but the loss of a love. So, what’s that got to do with the price of eggs, you may ask?!

The point I’m trying to make is you’ve lost everything if you’re not free. What would we be without it?  If you need an answer, just take a look at the news and what goes on when a country lacks it.  To name a few…trials, persecutions, starvation and humiliation humans go through at the hands of those who don’t know the meaning of the word and fight to the death to prevent people from having it.  It’s terrifying and infuriating all at the same time.

We are truly blessed to live in a country where the pickings and choosing of our lives are our choice and not the government’s. Yes, our government isn’t without fault, but all in all we live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. We live where our freedom is watched over and defended daily by our military who keep us safe in the present, in the past and in the future.  We owe it all to those brave enough to stand up against those who want to take it away.

Freedom’s not free. Please remember that the next time you see a soldier because they are paying the steep price. Say thanks.  Pray for them.  Show your gratitude. They are the ones allowing us to be able to happily enjoy our picnics and barbeques of hot dogs, burgers, corn and watermelon with our family and friends on this beautiful day of remembrance.  Later on maybe we’ll watch the brilliant fireworks and not have to worry that they are exploding bombs.

The song continues…Nothin’ ain’t nothin’ but it’s free. And we want the kind of freedom that’s more than nothin’, right?