My brother and I were driving along when we came upon a car trailing an 18-foot boat with a Yamaha V6 200 HP motor on the back. “What’s he doing with such a big motor on a little boat?” Ken asked. “He probably tows water skiers,” I remarked. Then I added, “Another thing I would never do…water ski.” He said, “Yes, just add that to your reverse bucket list.”
Bucket lists. Do you have one? Some people like to list all the amazing things they want to accomplish before their lives are over. Me? My bucket list is in reverse. It’s things I would never do in my life. Yes, I guess I’m definitely not an adventurous girl. I was in my younger years when I did some incredibly crazy stuff. It’s amazing that I survived at all, really. As I get older I find that the bravery and daring I once possessed is now kind of going by the wayside. Maybe it’s partly due to getting older and wiser and realizing that I really don’t want to do anything that’s going to cut my life even shorter than it already is as the tunnel of my future narrows. Maybe it’s just the realization that some things are just tempting fate with stupidity.
I don’t think my list of stuff I wouldn’t do is over-the-top silly as far as what most people would or wouldn’t do, but I thought it would be fun to name some. So here is my Reverse Bucket List of things I will never do in my life:
Swimming in the same waters where sharks live. This includes surfing, paddle boarding, spear fishing, water skiing and scuba diving. I mean, have you seen all the “JAWS” movies? Watch them and take notes. Maybe then you will understand how and why I feel the way I do. I’m also not a big fan of the tuba or the keys of E or F that are played as the secret announcement of the appearance of this man-eating predator in the movies.
- Eating crickets or grasshoppers or any insects in any food product including chocolate covered. All I can say is, “Yuk!” I also won’t be a contestant on any “Survivors” shows mainly because of this insect-eating thing, but I know I don’t even have to expand on the why not’s of the reasons I wouldn’t be on that show. Not that they would ask me.
- Anything that involves extreme heights. Hang gliding, parasailing, rock climbing, parachuting out of a plane, scaling Mt.Everest or the Matterhorn or even just looking down from the Empire State Building. All I can say is “VERTIGO!” I did go to the Grand Canyon once but spent the day in a cold sweat only briefly glancing at the spectacular views. I mostly spent the bulk of the time browsing the gift shops in avoidance.
- Walking barefoot across a path of red-hot lava rocks. That’s a no-brainer
- Spending 20 hours on a plane to fly to Australia. I mean, I’d love to see the Great Barrier Reef and am very fond of kangaroos and all, but no, 20 hours in a plane just isn’t going to happen for me. Although maybe if I had the chance, I might rethink this one.
- Horror movies of any kind, but with an emphasis on anything involving chain saws, Freddie Krueger or dolls that come alive and murder people. I just lose too much sleep thinking about it afterwards, and sleeping on some nights is already a challenge without the adage of recalling blood-covered corpses. That’s a definite no.
- Attending any kind of heavy metal concert, if there is still such things, because I don’t really need my hearing to be impaired any more than it already is.
- Snow skiing. First, I wouldn’t go up on a ski lift because of the height thing, and an added negative would be breaking my leg. Who needs that? I’m already taking calcium for my bones, thank you very much.
- Entering a hot dog eating contest…or pie eating….or anything where you gorge yourself for a prize and then throw up. This just doesn’t appeal to me in any way.
- Going on a cruise of any kind. If I’m hauled up in a tiny room under sea level and then have to worry about the boat sinking, the old reverse bucket list number one fear of sharks is multiplied tenfold. I don’t care how good the food is.
This is just a sampling. Things are always cropping up from day by day. You never know what I’ll avoid next. I think nowadays if I really wanted to do something that was dangerously adventurous and daring, I might just skip my blood pressure pill for one night and see what happens. Whew! Now there’s an adrenaline rush for you!
Would love to hear your comments on what’s on your own Reverse Bucket List…
Never say never but I think ill stay away from scuba diving for a while…and stick with snorkeling
Sue, as usual, we are in complete agreement. I can’t even pretend to be surprised to find that you too have a fear of heights. The thought of a cruise triggers my claustrophobia so I’m with you there too. I would add traveling to any place with less than 5 star accommodations. Or less than fabulous bathroom facilities. If I can’t sleep somewhere better than my own house…no thank you. So camping or safaris are out. The biggest risk I take these days is leaving the onions on my cheeseburger…and I usually end up regretting that as well! Loved reading your reverse bucket list! You always make me smile 🙂
As do you, Beachgirl…soul-sista!