Category Archives: Inspirational

Sep21

What if doing the hokey pokey is what it’s all about?

Posted on September 21, 2013 by susezit

I work as a special education classroom assistant, and I have to tell you that besides a heavy dose of patience and kindness, you need to have a lot of understanding, some good running shoes, the ability to lift 80 lbs. of limp weight, and must have a hardy sense of humor.

Take one day, for instance, while we were in a music class. The teacher’s plans included dancing to the hokey pokey. Sounds like fun, right? The music started playing, one child covered her ears because it was too loud. The other decided it would be more interesting to climb the risers instead. Still another was transfixed on a computer screen in the distance. We brought them back into the circle trying desperately to make this dance look like great fun as we smiled and clapped and demonstrated the steps while they watched disinterested. We were almost tempted to give up.

Then all of a sudden it happened…that one brilliant moment in time when they got it. All of a sudden they’re all putting their left foot in and out and shaking it all about, They’re smiling and doing the hokey pokey as they are turning themselves around like it’s nobody’s business. They’re laughing, they make eye contact, and your heart lifts and soars at this totally wonderful accomplishment. They get it for this one brief shining moment, and all is well in the world. Then as fast as they got it, it’s over. One continues her quest of mimicking all the sounds of the instruments she sees on the poster on the wall, another rolls around on the ground speaking in a language only she understands and the other one stares off into the distance at nothing in particular.

Although these children have behaviors that are not always considered the norm, I couldn’t help but wonder, if in a way, this is actually what life is all about. Sometimes we get it; sometimes we don’t Sometimes we want to listen to loud music and dance; sometimes we want to cover our ears and be quiet. Sometimes we want to put our hands and heads and feet in and shake them all about, while other times we’d rather just stare off at nothing in particular. Sometimes we want to smile and have fun when we’ve actually gotten something right, and sometimes we’d rather just climb off to somewhere else instead.

I couldn’t help but to ask myself, “What if doing the hokey pokey is what it’s all about?!”

Sep12

911 REMEMBRANCE

Posted on September 12, 2013 by susezit

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It was a sunny Tuesday morning, and I had just sat down to eat a bowl of Rice Krispies with peaches. I was starting a new job in a few days and was savoring the last of my leisurely mornings as I turned on the news to catch up with the daily events. The channel that was on showed a puzzled Katie Couric saying, “A plane accident has occurred at the Twin Towers.” As the camera panned to a live view, another plane appeared out of nowhere and crashed into the second Tower. I watched in shocked horror, as did Katie, trying to make sense out of what had just happened. She looked as amazed as I felt, not quite sure what to make of it.

My daughter called from college in tears. I worried about my younger daughter attending high school. Was everyone safe?

I switched around to other stations to see if this were real, and a little while later settled on Peter Jennings. For the next 10 to 12 hours I sat glued to my set, watching in sheer disbelief – wanting to walk away but paralyzed in front of the TV – frozen in horror. And there was Peter Jennings, reporting up to the minute details and trying to give us some kind of reassurance as we slowly realized nothing would ever be the same. I remember seeing the hundreds of rescue workers and ambulances lined up, ready to take people to the hospital. Waiting and waiting in eerie silence, not yet understanding there would be few survivors from those buildings. The magnitude of the loss of life was still unrealized.

I stayed with Mr. Jennings for most of the day, trusting his expertise and insight. Way after 11 p.m. he was still there, sleeves rolled up, tie off now, looking haggard and drained but still telling us the details we needed to know. He was soothing and reassuring, trying to keep a nation calm in the midst of hysteria. When Mr. Jennings passed away a while later, my heart ached as thoughts of 911 came flooding back, along with the question of whom we could count on to see us through the next catastrophe.

My thoughts and prayers are with those who have lost loved ones in the horrible 911 tragedy. My heart aches for their loss. Watching the roll call this morning brought tears to my eyes once more. I’ve been thinking about all that has transpired since then, and the word “trust” came to mind. I realize that in this ever-changing world in which we live, filled with so much uncertainty, the only One we can really trust to see us through is God.

Where were you on 911?

Sep2

OM RITAM NAMAH

Posted on September 2, 2013 by susezit

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My heart is aching today for sunshine on this dreary day, as I yearn to return to a place of deep rest and tranquility. It was a time I personally began to take a deeper look into meditation. Sometimes I think maybe that period, only a short while ago, may have been slightly illusionary because I have failed to keep that serenity inside my heart. I have stumbled and fallen back into the disquiet of every day life with the unrest and turmoil it brings, where I keep allowing others to affect me in negative ways.

I want it back…that feeling of peace. I understand now how special it was as the soothing sound of the meditation music I am listening to at the moment triggers my memory. I remember the calmness of watching a palm tree gently blowing in the warm Florida breeze just outside my window. I remember how relaxing it was to be mesmerized by the flow and rhythm of the ocean on a perfect beach day, watching the passing clouds drift lazily by. The happiness of frolicking with my exuberant sidekick Riley amidst the lush vegetation where a gorgeous bird of paradise plant catches my eye. My heart begins to swell again with yearning to go back. But life insists that I keep moving forward.

Tomorrow I start a new chapter in my life, and my hopes are high that it will lead me in a direction I need to go. One where I will finally find the happiness I have longed for. One where I can bring positive energy to those who need it the most. Maybe all this inner mysticism is just a touch of angst for the new and unknown. I don’t mean to sound so Deepak Chopra-ish, although I admire him deeply for mentoring me along this meditation journey.

Bird of Paradise

My centering thought today is: I use my energy to heal and transform. My hope is that I can keep this foremost in my mind as I begin anew. The translation for Om Ritam Namah: My intentions and desires are in alignment with and supported by the rhythm of the universe. I am holding tightly onto that mantra with all my heart and soul.

My sidekick Riley.

NAMASTE.

Jul4

HEARTFELT THANKS TO OUR MILITARY

Posted on July 4, 2013 by susezit

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Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose…

Not sure I agree with the words of Kris Kristofferson regarding the song he wrote for Janis Joplin. Of course, he wasn’t speaking of freedom but the loss of a love. So, what’s that got to do with the price of eggs, you may ask?!

The point I’m trying to make is you’ve lost everything if you’re not free. What would we be without it? If you need an answer, just take a look at the news and what goes on when a country lacks it. To name a few…trials, persecutions, starvation and humiliation humans go through at the hands of those who don’t know the meaning of the word and fight to the death to prevent people from having it. It’s terrifying and infuriating all at the same time.

We are truly blessed to live in a country where the pickings and choosing of our lives are our choice and not the government’s. Yes, our government isn’t without fault, but all in all we live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. We live where our freedom is watched over and defended daily by our military who keep us safe in the present, in the past and in the future. We owe it all to those brave enough to stand up against those who want to take it away.

Freedom’s not free. Please remember that the next time you see a soldier because they are paying the steep price. Say thanks. Pray for them. Show your gratitude. They are the ones allowing us to be able to happily enjoy our picnics and barbeques of hot dogs, burgers, corn and watermelon with our family and friends on this beautiful day of remembrance. Later on maybe we’ll watch the brilliant fireworks and not have to worry that they are exploding bombs.

The song continues…Nothin’ ain’t nothin’ but it’s free. And we want the kind of freedom that’s more than nothin’, right?

Jun24

FACING YOUR FEARS WITH FAITH

Posted on June 24, 2013 by susezit

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I wasn’t going to watch Nik Wallenda’s skywire walk over the Grand Canyon. I just didn’t have it in me. I have a ferocious fear of heights, and the thought of what he was going to do drove me into a dizzying tailspin.

A few years ago while visiting my Aunt Joan and Uncle Stan in Cave Creek, Arizona, they surprised me with a trip to the Grand Canyon. It made me excited and anxious all at the same time. But the thought of the impending trip made me weak with anxiety. How was I really going to experience this majestic place without having a major panic attack. Small cliffs and bridges made me weak. How would I manage to look out and down into these enormous canyons? As we drove the car up the road to the canyon, my heart pounded in my chest, and I was fraught with anxiety. I thought about asking them to drop me off at one of the souvenir shops along the road and pick me up when they were finished. But I couldn’t. They were so excited to show me this magnificent place, and I knew I couldn’t disappoint them.

We walked to the edge of the first lookout point. Rather, they walked out, and I stayed back a safe distance, stealing quick glances and then looking away. Words cannot describe the beauty and awe of this sacred place even with my fleeting glimpses. But my heart once again started palpitating too fast, I started to sweat and had the overwhelming feeling of falling. I turned and walked away. I looked for the nearest souvenir shop and browsed until they were ready to move on. That’s how most of the day went. At each lookout site, I took a quick peek and then retreated. I felt like a weirdo. How I survived the day I’ll never know. In the end, I wanted a picture of me with the canyon in the background and stopped at one of the picture points, but instead of moving forward to it, I turned around and inched carefully backwards. Then I had the sensation of falling backwards down the canyon, but they took a quick snap before I retreated. At the end of the trip a lightning storm appeared over the canyon and flashed brilliant zigzags through the crevices. I watched in awe. It was just overwhelmingly beautiful, and I was sorry to have been such a dope.

Fast forward to today and to Nik Wallenda’s skywire walk. I’m not watching that! I stated emphatically to anyone who would listen. How could he do such a ridiculous thing? Is he crazy?!?!? The fact was, I couldn’t bear to see him fall, reenacting my biggest fear. But when the time came for the show, I somehow couldn’t change the channel or turn away. His family and he prayed at the beginning with Joel Osteen, who is my all-time favorite evangelist. I watched as he prepared. I watched as he took the first step on the line. My heart started pounding. He started to pray aloud. I love you, Jesus. Guide my steps, Lord. You are the King of Kings. Tears started rolling down my face. I started to pray with and for him. He continued…Steady this cable, dear Father. Calm this wind. Calm me. Use this for Your own glory, Lord. Thank you, Jesus. I stayed with him. I couldn’t look away, even though the sites were dizzying. I couldn’t turn the channel. I watched and listened as Nik’s father encouraged him through his earpiece and couldn’t help to think that was just what God does as we face our own challenges. He calms our fears as we trust in Him.

I saw the fear on Nik’s face, but he kept moving forward. I saw him look down and watched with him as he commented on the beauty below him. Nik Wallenda is a shining example of a true man of great faith. God was guiding him, and it turned out for me to be a learning lesson in faith and trust. I’ll never forget the overwhelming feeling of bravery as he prayed and trusted in God to guide him to the other side. And then 22 minutes and 54 seconds later…he finished the 1,400 ft. walk, touching ground on the other side. I watched as he hugged his wife and children. I watched as he went off for a few minutes by himself with his head bowed, tears streaming down his face, certain he was giving thanks to almighty God. And I couldn’t help but cry as I also gave thanks to God for keeping him safe.

When I heard Nik say…Use this for Your own glory, Lord…I believe that is exactly what happened. I can’t help but think that many people who were watching were touched by his great faith. I know it renewed my own in a way that makes me feel stronger for the fears that I will face in the future…some that I can even see in the distance. Nik once said in an interview, “Danger was real but fear was a choice. What would happen if I chose faith instead?” And that’s exactly what he did.

I will often think of Nik and his treacherous walk of faith with God as he trusted fearlessly in the guiding hand of our Lord. And by his example, I will pray and ask God’s grace and strength as I make my own way across the treacherous skywires that I encounter.

Jun14

Happy Father’s Day, Dad

Posted on June 14, 2013 by susezit

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Me, my Dad and my brother

I ran into a store to pick up an item the other day and went to the register to pay for it. In front of me stood an old man wearing a baseball cap with day-old gray stubble and white Velcro sneakers looking just like my Dad in his later years. I didn’t think much of it until I looked at what he was purchasing…peanut brittle…Dad’s favorite.

My Dad has been gone for 17 years now, and I hadn’t thought about him in a while. I remembered how much he absolutely loved peanut brittle, and I used to buy a can of it for every occasion along with whatever I thought he might like. But he never seemed to want anything more than that peanut brittle.

My Dad was a tough guy. A Great Depression baby. He survived childhood poverty, an abusive father and World War II. He was rough around the edges and had a time-bomb temper. To be honest, we never got along. When I was young and was his little girl, he would have me running circles around him doing this chore and that chore, and I gladly did anything to please him. Nothing seemed to, though. At least that was my perception. As I got older and didn’t follow his orders as much as he would have liked, the fighting began. We were always at odds. He was very controlling, and I stepped into my “don’t give a crap” mode. We pulled away from each other as I went out into the world to try to find myself. I was described by someone during that period as kind of a hippie, but kind of not. My Dad didn’t care much for hippies, so the fact that I was dressing and acting like one disturbed him. No matter – I did what I pleased and sometimes did things just to aggravate him. Anything to get a rise out of him. I did this because I never felt encouraged or loved or cherished by him as a daughter should be.

During this “discovery” period, however, I ran out of gas at 2 in the morning after dancing in a club all night. I called him, waking him out of a sound sleep to ask for help. He was there 15 minutes later with a full gas can and never yelled at me once or mentioned it again. The only thing he was mad about was that he left the gas can on the side of the road by mistake, and it was gone when he went back to retrieve it. I guess I knew deep down inside he loved me because there were some finely woven shreds of evidence of it throughout my life as in this instance.

My Dad worked hard all his life to be sure we had a nice home, food on the table and clothing – all the creature comforts. Although he yelled a lot, he never touched us like his battering father did him. He broke that chain, which made me proud of him. But he never took me in his arms and hugged me either nor did he ever tell me he was proud of me. I know that generation wasn’t much for showing their feelings or their emotions, so part of me understood he just wasn’t that kind of guy. But I always felt something lacking because of it.

I didn’t understand why he cried like a baby as he walked me down the aisle on my wedding day. Or why he sobbed uncontrollably again during our father-daughter dance. It was a revelation to me. I was sure he loved being a good Pop-Pop to my kids, and as an adult he would do anything for me, even encouraging me to move home with my kids during a rough marital period. I finally decided that he must have loved me deep down inside in his own way all along, but it took years for me to figure that out.

I miss him every now and then. Like on Father’s Day. I wish he could have seen my kids grow up and graduate and get married. I wish I could just sit down with him one more time and crunch some of that peanut butter that he loved so much.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

Jun7

THE MANICURE

Posted on June 7, 2013 by susezit

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I don’t do manicures often because I’m usually too restless to sit there for too long. I did, however, break down and had a gel manicure with a gift certificate I received recently – maybe someone is trying to tell me something!

While sitting at the “drying station” I met two young girls. One had gotten a really cool gold and black design on her nails to match her prom dress – the event, of which was that evening. She was so very excited and chatting happily with us and her mother who sat next to her. I asked what she was doing after graduation – whether she was going to college. She said emphatically, “Oh no, I’ve never even had a job, and I feel like I should work for a while first.” I tried to make sense out of her statement, but smiled half-heartedly. I wanted to say, “No, no, no! Please try to go to college and get some kind of degree! Start at a community college if you want, but go right away while you’re young. Go now!” I know firsthand how hard the world has become. How awful the job market is no matter how much the politicians try to pull the wool over your eyes with their banter about how things are getting better and how unemployment is down. The competition is voracious. They will literally eat you alive! People will ignore you. You will feel invisible, even when you’re qualified and have the experience.

Then the girl sitting across from us spoke up – she was 25. I know this because someone asked if she were going to the prom as well, and she snickered and told us her age. Turns out she graduated from a great university a couple of years ago. She has a degree in criminal justice but hasn’t yet found a job in her field. She said she had recently taken a civil service exam to try to get into something…anything. She told the younger girl to dance the night away and enjoy the prom and her last days in high school. “It is the time of your life,” she said, “and if you go to college, that will be so much fun, too.” She looked sad. I had a feeling she was thinking that after that it’s all downhill. Struggling to get a job had taken a toll on her as it has on me. I don’t know what the answer is. Work or go to college? College isn’t for everyone, but without it, how can you compete at all?

The younger girl looked at mom and said dreamily, “Besides, I’m going to publish a book and make lots of money, so I won’t have to go to college.” I choked inside. I used to believe the same thing. I wanted to take her by the shoulders, look her square in the eyes and tell her that the reality of that happening was next to nil. That there were only a chosen few who got to live that life and have that dream come true, especially without the experience of what you learn in school. But I didn’t say anything. Youth need to have their dreams and their ambitions. They don’t need to be told how difficult it is out there as they excitedly prepare for the night of their life at prom.

I just smiled and wished her well and told her to have lots of fun at the prom. She smiled brightly back at me with starry eyes and off she went. I hope all of her dreams come true.

May29

ENJOY THE RIDE!

Posted on May 29, 2013 by susezit

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I hate flying…maybe I shouldn’t put it that harshly anymore because it’s kind of evolved into more of a love/hate relationship since I’ve been flying a little more frequently than I ever have. And, I’ve realized that it’s a perfect way to get from point A to point B without having to spend days in a car, so I’m learning to go with the flow.

Last week I was settling into my usual aisle seat on a crowded plane – a must for me. I guess I feel like I can escape quicker from that location, but to where I’m not quite sure. I don’t want a window seat since I’m fraught with a fear of heights and bouts with vertigo. I don’t want to sit in the middle because I feel trapped and a little claustrophobic. (I’m such a weirdo…) So I’m good in the aisle where I can busy myself checking out the other passengers and stretching my legs a little bit.

So all was calm…all was well as we sat in a holding pattern on the runway. But then all of a sudden the plane starts taxiing down the runway, and I immediately clench the arms of the seat so tightly my knuckles turn blue…as if holding on like that is going to do any good. The motors rev up, and I’m saying my prayers as I try to shut out of my mind all the things that can go wrong. Then I hear the happy, noisy chattering of two little kids, not more than 3 or 4 years old, two seats up across the aisle. They’re speaking in Spanish, so I’m not sure what they’re saying, but they are excited and squealing with delight as the plane powers up, speeds along the runway, eventually lifting off into the air. “WEEEE…..WEEEE,” they squeal bouncing up and down and laughing so loudly that it’s infectious. All the people around me start smiling and laughing, too. I can’t help but break out in a wide grin. Their dad tries to hush them, but sees that everyone else is having such a great time listening to their wonderful antics about their thrilling plane ride, that he also breaks into a broad grin. We are all enjoying this innocent outburst filled with so much glee that our hearts are lifted along with the plane. I’m surprised to realize that for the first time in my life I’m having a good time in an aircraft as I share in the chuckling with the people around me.

I’m reminded of what a gift childish innocence presents. All they know is the excitement and sensation of a kind of amusement ride as they ride in the magic plane! They have no fears. They are still immuned to adult thoughts of what could go wrong, and instead, go with the fun-filled flow and joy of it all. Why can’t I try to be more like these little children and think more about the exciting adventures aircrafts open up to us? The chance to go and visit loved ones in the blink of an eye, along with exploring our world is just a mere heartbeat of a ride away. Air travel is truly an amazing gift.

I’m going to try to be better and more fearless and less uptight the next time I board that big bird of the sky. I’m going to try to look at flying through the eyes of innocence, letting go and squealing with delight as I shout “WEEEE….WEEEE” as the plane takes off (to myself, of course!). Most of all, I’m going to keep forever in my heart the reaction of these two precious, little children who taught me to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride!

May27

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY

Posted on May 27, 2013 by susezit

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When I was an adolescent and the Vietnam War was in full tilt, there was a movement wherein you could purchase a metal wrist band with the name of a prisoner of war (POW) imprinted on it. The idea was to wear the band in support of that person until he was released.

My serviceman’s name was Lt. Col. Louis Makowski. That’s all I knew at the time. Much later I found out he was a 16 year veteran of the United States Air Force working as a navigator when his plane was shot down over North Vietnam on October 6, 1966. He was first reported missing in action (MIA) then later reported as a POW. I remember the sadness of those days as the many numbers of the fallen were reported daily on the news. I remember the protests, the peace signs, and the unrest in our country caused by this war.

I wore Lt. Col. Makowski’s wrist band for many years and prayed for him daily. I can’t even imagine the torture, physical abuse, starvation and loneliness this man suffered through. For four years there was no word about him or his whereabouts. Then in 1970, his wife began getting letters from the prison camp. He was alive and well.

As the war came to a close, the Vietnamese began releasing these prisoners. Television stations would broadcast their return to the United States at the airport and would announce their names one by one as they descended the ramp from the plane. I happened to be watching one of these broadcasts, and I couldn’t believe my eyes or my ears when they announced Lt. Col. Louis Makowski. He was released on March 4, 1973 after 6 ½ years of incarceration. I started crying as if I knew him. I took my bracelet off and kissed it. He was finally home safe.

I still have that bracelet, and every time I look at it I am reminded of that time in our history and of the brave military who fought during the Vietnam War. We should never forget any war –Vietnam, the World Wars, Korea, or the Mid-East confrontations or the details that helped us to rise above these conflicts. It is because of those who defended us that we enjoy our independence. And despite some of our nation’s recent challenges, it is still the land of the free and the home of the brave.

As we honor those who have sacrificed their lives for our country on this Memorial Day, let’s never forget and always be reminded of the price these dear soldiers paid for the privilege of our freedom. Even if the reminder is a small metal wrist band imprinted with the name of an unknown Air Force navigator.

P.S. This is a repost of a blog I wrote last Memorial Day. Since then I was able to contact now Col. Makowski…

Back in May I wrote a blog entitled, “Memorial Day Remembrance” about a POW bracelet I used to wear during the Vietnam War in support of an American prisoner of war, Lt. Col. Louis F. Makowski. Wearing the POW bracelet in his honor became a symbol of strength, bravery and hope for me, and when I had the privilege of watching Lt. Col. Makowski arrive home on TV, my heart leapt with pride and thanks to God for bringing him safely home.

It’s been almost 40 years since his release from that prison camp in Vietnam, where he was incarcerated for 6 ½ years. I’ve often wondered since then what became of him. So after the story was published, I decided to do some detective work and find out. I wrote him a letter and sent him a copy of the essay. I am happy to say I received a response from him and wanted to share the good news with you. I am pleased to report he is doing well. Now retired from the United States Air Force with the rank of Colonel, he lives a quiet life with his wife of 58 years, has four children and four grandchildren.

Among other things, Colonel Makowski wrote that he has hope for the future and our country’s winning back our God given American values. My heart was humbled by his very kind words to me, and I thanked this courageous and wonderful man for taking the time to respond. The lesson he has taught me through this experience is no matter what your circumstances are and how hard life can get, be strong, be brave and be hopeful. You can survive the trials you go through and go on to live a happy life.

God bless you, Colonel Louis F. Makowski and all our military…and my Dad, Sargeant Albert Rylak, World War II veteran, deceased, and God bless America!

May15

FORWARD NOT BACK

Posted on May 15, 2013 by susezit

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For me, the past few years or so have been fraught with knock downs. Who hasn’t had periods like that? It seems like one negative thing after another keeps happening, and you really have trouble finding the silver linings to all those gray clouds hanging over your head. Seems like they just will not go away. You know what I’m talking about.

In the midst of all the turmoil, I’ve developed a mantra…“FORWARD NOT BACK.” When I find my mind peeking into the past, dwelling in the negative places and wondering why, I try really hard to turn my thinking around by repeating these three simple words to myself, FORWARD NOT BACK. Surprise betrayals? FORWARD NOT BACK. Financial woes? FORWARD NOT BACK. Joblessness? FORWARD NOT BACK. Sickness? FORWARD NOT BACK. Rough times? FORWARD NOT BACK. Don’t know which direction to go? FORWARD NOT BACK.

In Ben Affleck’s acceptance speech at the Oscar’s this year he said a phrase with tears in his eyes that I immediately wrote down and keep tucked in my daily devotional. I repeat it to myself every morning. “It doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life because that’s going to happen. What matters is that you gotta get up.” See?! Even Ben Affleck goes through rough times.

A few years ago I read a book based on a lecture written and given by Randy Pausch called, “The Last Lecture.” Randy was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University and was an award winning teacher. He was married to a beautiful woman Jai, had three young sons and was battling terminal pancreatic cancer. He wrote and gave this lecture as a legacy to his children. It was heart-wrenching to watch, and yet in the midst of all the tragedy surrounding this young family, there was an aura of positivity. It was mind boggling to see and experience. Randy said in his lecture that you had to decide if you were a Tigger or an Eeyore. Tigger doesn’t dwell on the “not helpful” stuff, but moves ahead making the best of the moment.

During one interview with Randy and Jai, she was asked how she copes with the inevitable. Jai said she taught herself a simple phrase when she began to go into a dark place. NOT HELPFUL. It became her mantra during this difficult time. It was a reminder to her to not let negative thoughts come between living fully with Randy in the present.

Life surprises you at every turn, sometimes whacking you upside the head with a super blow that knocks you off your feet. The secret, like Ben said, is that you gotta keep getting up. NOT HELPFUL; FORWARD NOT BACK…whatever you use, get yourself a mantra. It helps you to cope and diverts your attention away from the negative stuff and into the positive light. It’s a simple strategy but it works. Give it a try it.