•  To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.
  •  To postpone or delay needlessly.

Sound familiar?

Procrastination – why do we do it?  Why don’t we get that we’re doing it when we are?  Why don’t we step up and get going when we know we should?  Who knows?  Maybe it’s because it’s a daunting task that taxes us to our limit. Maybe because we’ve done it so many times before that we’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. Maybe the task is so boring and rudimentary that it sends us to the mountaintop screaming, “I’m as bored as hell, and I just can’t take it anymore.” (apologies to Peter Finch)  Maybe we’re just lazy.

Some days I drag around like a dry mop, not doing much of any good for anything or anybody, least of all myself.  I hate days like that.  I coulda, woulda, shoulda myself at day’s end and then surrender to the fact that I wasted another day.  I throw my hands up in the air and hope the sun will come out tomorrow, and the dawn of a new day will energize and enlighten me to know exactly what I need to do and  how to do it. 

Who doesn’t procrastinate, especially when you’re living a life which is seemingly aimless and without direction?  Everyone feels that way at some point or another. That’s me at the moment.  Just hanging and waiting for the next chapter of my life to begin.  Waiting for that bolt of lightning to hit and redirect me to the life I’m supposed to be living.  To that place of meaning where my skills will be welcomed and my life will start thriving once more.  The movers and shakers will tell you that you have to get on the train and get moving.  But which train and where?  I seriously lack the comprehension of knowing which direction to go.  It’s a precarious position to be in at my “advancing” age. There’s no defined answer to this dilemma at the moment, except to cut the procrastination and keep doing anything and everything I can think of to keep me moving forward.

And so I’ve got to go and get to the station – train’s pulling out. 

Destination:  Whereverthechipsmayfall

About susezit

~ Expressing random thoughts and issues is my thing. ~ I’m complicated. ~ I understand quirky. ~ I'm a work in progress. ~ I've discovered I'm pretty strong. ~ I'm trying to become the me I've always wanted to be. (Essays are original works of the author. All rights reserved.)

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