Happy February! Happy almost Valentine’s Day! Happy month of love! February is the month you should really focus on all things pertaining to your heart and to keeping it strong. It’s heart health month, after all! And the one thing that will keep your heart beating like nothing else in the world is. of course, love.
Now, I feel kind of hypocritical writing about love and affairs of the heart because for quite some time now I have become kind of hardened, “jaded and bitter,” as I like to describe myself. A long-term relationship crashed and burned in a twisted wreck of lies and deception, but I am over it. I’ve just been having trouble taking the first step in beginning again. It seems like too much work, and I have become complacent. I’ve carved out a nice, safe, comfortable niche for myself, and for the most part, I enjoy my own company and the freedom of doing what I want when I want to do it. But then there are other times when these cold winter nights are so long and boring that I just don’t know what to do with myself. I wish I had someone to talk with, to have a glass of wine and a nice dinner with. Someone who could make me laugh again.
At my daughter’s wedding recently I read a passage from Corinthians 13, a part of which goes like this:
If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love,
I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;
if I have all faith so as to move mountains
but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast
but do not have love, I have nothing.
The message, of course, is loud and clear…If don’t have love, you have nothing. I guess I have nothing, and it’s not a happy way to live.
So maybe it’s time for me to begin again and do what I have to do to keep my heart alive and well and beating strongly. How I’m going to do this, I’m not quite sure. But I think I have to at least try to see if there’s a chance that a nice guy is out there waiting for me to take that first step to open my heart to the possibilities of what love may bring.