Tag Archives: love

HOME

Standard

          ~What a comfort it is to know

that I have yet to meet my greatest love

I find strength in that fact and relief to realize

that no one has ever filled the gap

to gain that eternal notoriety

as the one to whom I compare the rest.

          ~I feel confident in understanding

that this time I have spent in mediocrity is not wasted

but is, instead, a learning and testing ground

providing me with the wisdom to recognize you when I see you.

          ~After the near tragedy of almost believing

that it was over for me

this thing called love.

         ~Nearly forcing me to almost consider

that my life would dissolve into

the catastrophe of forever looking back instead of forward.

          ~What a challenge

thrilling in a way

to understand that you’re still out there to be discovered

And that when I find you I’ll suddenly know

that it’s you.

          ~I’ll know that this transitional time

of loneliness and wanting was worth it

that there’s no more someday

only this day and each day after

as the pieces finally fit

and make sense.

          ~That with you, in you, through you

I am home.

home

Advertisements

HAPPY FEBRUARY

Standard

loveHappy February!  Happy almost Valentine’s Day!  Happy month of love!  February is the month you should really focus on all things pertaining to your heart and to keeping it strong. It’s heart health month, after all! And the one thing that will keep your heart beating like nothing else in the world is. of course, love.

Now, I feel kind of hypocritical writing about love and affairs of the heart because for quite some time now I have become kind of hardened, “jaded and bitter,” as I like to describe myself. A long-term relationship crashed and burned in a twisted wreck of lies and deception, but I am over it.  I’ve just been having trouble taking the first step in beginning again.  It seems like too much work, and I have become complacent. I’ve carved out a nice, safe, comfortable niche for myself, and for the most part, I enjoy my own company and the freedom of doing what I want when I want to do it. But then there are other times when these cold winter nights are so long and boring that I just don’t know what to do with myself.  I wish I had someone to talk with, to have a glass of wine and a nice dinner with.  Someone who could make me laugh again.

At my daughter’s wedding recently I read a passage from Corinthians 13, a part of which goes like this:

 If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love,

I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.

And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;

if I have all faith so as to move mountains

but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast

but do not have love, I have nothing.

The message, of course, is loud and clear…If don’t have love, you have nothing. I guess I have nothing, and it’s not a happy way to live.

So maybe it’s time for me to begin again and do what I have to do to keep my heart alive and well and beating strongly. How I’m going to do this, I’m not quite sure.  But I think I have to at least try to see if there’s a chance that a nice guy is out there waiting for me to take that first step to open my heart to the possibilities of what love may bring.

Do you know any nice guys? 🙂 monkeys

GLAD TO BE ALIVE

Standard

I’m watching the couple across the lagoon where I live as they sit in the backyard and rock on a swing built for two.  I have a bird’s eye view and am feeling a little voyeuristic as I observe them, but from where I’m sitting in the sunroom, it’s hard to ignore them. They turn their faces upward toward the sun as a gentle breeze ruffles their hair – or what’s left of it.  I don’t know their whole story, but I do know she owns the house on the corner and he lives next door. His wife died, then her husband and somehow they became a couple. I’ve seen them going back and forth between the houses. Their children are grown and visit now and then, especially during the summer.

They’re very playful at the moment.  He leans over and gives her a kiss, then another.  He sits back with his hands behind his neck looking up at the sky smiling, and then lets one arm drop around her shoulder pulling her in for a hug.  They are animatedly chatting about something and are pointing at things around the yard. He leans over and starts tickling her, and she is playfully pushing him away. They are giggling.  He leans in for another kiss (boy, he’s frisky for an old goat!)  and then they get up from the swing and walk between the houses holding hands until they disappear around the corner.

It’s so heart warming to see older folks in love. It gives you hope that no matter what you’ve been through, it’s never too late to try again.  Getting older doesn’t mean you have to give up on love.  You can still be optimistic that you’ll find that special someone who will make you giggle as you rock on a swing on a warm spring day and feel glad to be alive.