Category Archives: Inspirational

MY DAD

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My Dad was a good guy.  He grew up during the Depression, third oldest in a family of nine children. Food and money were tight, and they often did without.  His dad was callous, raising his family with an abusive iron fist.  His mom was gentle and kind but intimidated by her husband’s temper.

My Dad was tough and brave. He never finished high school since he was expected to go to work to contribute to the household.  He got a job painting, and then started his own business as a painting contractor that was to become his life-long career. He didn’t want for much in his life and didn’t aspire for great things. He enlisted in the army during World War II and became a sergeant driving a Sherman tank in the Battle of the Bulge. He came under enemy fire, was injured and received the Purple Heart.

My Dad was steady and strong. After the war he met my Mom at a dance, married and bought a house in the suburbs in the 1950’s where he and my Mom raised my brother and me.  They eventually paid off the mortgage and lived in that same house for the rest of their lives. Although he didn’t attend church, he drove us there every Sunday in an American-made Chevrolet, one of only 4 cars he owned in his lifetime.  He had a quiet faith that he chose to keep private. He survived health problems including a brain tumor, a heart attack, heart bypass surgery, skin cancer and then bravely dealt with mini strokes and the onset of early dementia.

My Dad was faithful and honest with a heart full of love. He stayed faithful to my Mom, even though their marriage wasn’t always a storybook and took great pride in his family.  He said exactly what was on his mind whether you wanted to hear it or not, and his temper flared like a time bomb, although he was never abusive.  We didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. He never said “I love you” to me until much later in his life, but I knew he did by the way he danced with me atop his shoes, watched me act in my plays and cried at my wedding. Grandfather was his favorite role.  The intensity of his love and concern for his two granddaughters was amazing for me to watch.  I was almost jealous to see his playfulness, caring and overt affection for “his girls.”

As this economy brings us to our knees, we should take notes from my Dad’s generation on how to live within your means and to be content with the simple things in life. He proved that you don’t need a succession of huge, stepping stone houses, fancy cars and tons of money to live a good life. You just need to be tough and brave – steady and strong – faithful and honest with a heart full of love.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you.

ANGELS AMONG US

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The first time I met my friend, Angie, I have to admit I was a little intimidated by her. She came for a job interview where I worked, and instead of being upbeat and perky as you would expect someone looking for a job to be, she was pensive and stand-offish.  However, she had the right experience and credentials for the position and was hired immediately.

Angie seemed disillusioned with the job at first. She became a figure in the office that you felt you needed to tip toe around.  She said exactly what was on her mind without hesitation, and I had to chuckle at her unfiltered forthrightness in certain situations. She was usually right, though.  Angie never minced words. Although I hesitated at first, the more I got to know her, the more I liked her.  I found her to have a very kind and caring heart, and she had a wealth of wisdom she began to share with me.

One day out of the blue she said, “Something is wrong here.” That “something wrong” she noticed early on was definitely a dysfunctional presence in the workplace. It caused quite a few people in the office to seek employment elsewhere, and I was one of them. Shortly thereafter, I began to go through my “annus horribilus” (year of horror) where everything that could possibly go wrong, did. Angie was always there for me.  She called me every few days to check in with me, and we talked for hours. She took me out for a meal when I needed it. She was my shoulder to cry on and the voice of reason I needed to hear. She always had the uncanny ability to say just the right thing at just the right time, which convinced me it was divine intervention.  There are “Angie-isms” spattered throughout my journal during that year. “Sell the house and get out from under it.” “You’re better off without him.”  “You need to start over in a new place.”  I’ve felt comfort in her guidance and advice. It has always proved to be helpful.

Angie’s latest words are, “You have to keep your heart open because you’re too young to be alone.”  When I complained to her that I just don’t have the energy to start over in another relationship, she ignored me and continued, “Keep your eyes opened to the possibilities around you.”  Maybe I will.

Take the time to get to know the people around you – those you work with, your neighbors, and other acquaintances you meet along the way.  Listen to what they have to say. You wouldn’t want to miss out on the angels among us.

HAPPINESS HAPPENS

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Zoom! Boom! To the brilliantly full Moon! The stars have aligned, and I am dancing on air. On this quiet, sleepy day of all days, a dream of mine has come true.  

Life goes on for days and months or even years and nothing is happening and you wonder when you’re going to catch a break and you spend your time asking, “What’s it all about, Alfie?”  You think if something good doesn’t happen soon you’re going to throw in the towel and…and…well, by the time it comes to that point, something wonderful usually does happen. And it did for me on this day.

Pinch me, because I became a newspaper columnist for a local paper. For a person who loves to write (and you know how much I LOVE to write!), this is no small feat. I get to share my stories with the residents of the community in which I live. I will talk about my random thoughts and issues in the hopes it will entertain those reading. I’ll even have a picture and a byline! The paper itself is clever and charming and the perfect place to begin the next chapter in the book of me just being me. This is something I’ve always wanted to do ~ who knew it would actually come true?!

So I celebrate and wish everyone the “happy” I feel inside today. If you hold on long enough and keep tying a knot at the end of your rope, suddenly, without warning, happiness happens. It did for me, and I hope it does for you, too.

THE GIRLS ARE BACK IN TOWN!

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Man, I love my daughters! One lives North and the other South, so on those rare occasions when we meet in the middle, it’s like Christmas morning and the Fourth of July all rolled into one.  There’s nothing that makes me prouder than watching my two beautiful firecrackers exploding into the world and enriching the universe with their magnificent colorful gifts. 

So let me humor you with some cheesy but heartfelt karaoke in their honor to the tune of  Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys are Back in Town.”

Guess who just got back today?!

Them wild-eyed girls that had been away

Haven’t changed, but had a lot to say

I love those chicks so much its crazy

 

One comes from the North and one from the South

So it was awesome to meet them Downtown

That’s Downtown in Red Bank where they could be found

Driving all the young men crazy

 

The girls are back in town

The girls are back in town

I said

The girls are back in town

The girls are back in town

 

You know that Meg used to dance a lot

Recital time she’d be on the floor shaking what she’d got

Man, when I tell you she was cool, she was red hot

I mean she was steaming

 

And that Katie, wow, the way she kicked a ball

That other team would rise and then they’d fall

Man, she’d be scoring all over the place

If that chick didn’t win she’d get crazy

 

The girls are back in town

The girls are back in town

I said

The girls are back in town

The girls are back in town

 

Spread the word around

Guess who’s back in town

You spread the word around

 

From babes to women they have grown

Man, those childhood days have flown

I miss them so much my heart stops

I kiss and squeeze them til their heads pop

 

One’s a teacher, one’s into art

Man, those girls are so pretty and so smart

How much I love them I’m not lying

They’ll be off again and I’ll be crying

 

The girls are back in town

The girls are back in town

Spread the word around

The girls are back in town

The girls are back in town

The girls are back, the girls are back

The girls are back in town again

 

Been hangin’ down at Mama’s den

The girls are back in town again

TAKE YOUR TROUBLES TO THE SEA

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I’d spent the night tossing and turning with a mind full of worry.  Sound familiar? Throw in the challenge of a suffocating 90 degree heat wherein the only breeze created was from all that tossing and turning, and try as I might, I couldn’t even will myself to sleep. I read.  I watched mindless TV.  Sheep?  All counted. Warm milk?  Eeww!  Sleep aids?  I don’t think so. Nothing would help on this hopeless night.

So early the next morning I decided to get away from it all and take my troubles to the sea. Only a few quiet souls dotted the deserted beach when I arrived, so I was able to get up close and personal to the line where the sand meets the surf.  The chilly ocean breeze was just what I needed to extinguish the overpowering heat permeating from my skin. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sun on my face.  I squinted upward at the brilliant sunlight and gorgeous blue sky, deplete of any trace of a cloud. I took a deep breath of the salty sea air and exhaled slowly. In and out. In and out. My body relaxed.  I watched the glimmering jewels of sunlight dance across the water’s surface like a brilliant bedazzled showcase.  The waves flowed evenly in perfect unison – back and forth and back and forth.  I heard the moan of a foghorn from a ship in the distance. I took another deep breath and realized that life was basically good. I thought about the things causing my restlessness – all legitimate reasons to feel unsettled. And yet, looking over the vastness of the ocean, my problems seemed minuscule.  I pictured the underworld life existing just beneath the surface of the vast blue /green water.  I could picture the perfect harmony of the creatures in the sea and wondered how all the different species could have survived through the turmoil of thousands of years of rocky waters, and yet they do.  I would, too.

Finally able to relax, I read my book, I snacked and I snoozed and felt a whole lot better.  That is until the beach was deluged by throngs of noisy, rambunctious, screaming teenagers whom I imagined were celebrating senior cut day.  Luckily I had already gotten my mojo back because it was definitely time to go.

The best prescription for a sleepless night: Take your troubles to the sea…early in the day…before the throngs arrive…and don’t forget to wear sunscreen.

MEMORIAL DAY REMEMBRANCE

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When I was an adolescent and the Vietnam War was in full tilt, there was a movement wherein you could purchase a metal wrist band with the name of a prisoner of war (POW) imprinted on it.  The idea was to wear the band in support of that person until he was released. 

My serviceman’s name was Lt. Col. Louis Makowski. That’s all I knew at the time. Much later I found out he was a 16 year veteran of the United States Air Force working as a navigator when his plane was shot down over North Vietnam on October 6, 1966.  He was first reported missing in action (MIA) then later reported as a POW. I remember the sadness of those days as the many numbers of the fallen were reported daily on the news. I remember the protests, the peace signs, and the unrest in our country caused by this war.

I wore Lt. Col. Makowski’s wrist band for many years and prayed for him daily. I can’t even imagine the torture, physical abuse, starvation and loneliness this man suffered through. For four years there was no word about him or his whereabouts.  Then in 1970, his wife began getting letters from the prison camp.  He was alive and well.

As the war came to a close, the Vietnamese began releasing these prisoners.  Television stations would broadcast their return to the United States at the airport and would announce their names one by one as they descended the ramp from the plane. I happened to be watching one of these broadcasts, and I couldn’t believe my eyes or my ears when they announced Lt. Col. Louis Makowski. He was released on March 4, 1973 after 6 ½ years of incarceration. I started crying as if I knew him.  I took my bracelet off and kissed it.  He was finally home safe.

 I still have that bracelet, and every time I look at it I am reminded of that time in our history and of the brave military who fought during the Vietnam War.  We should never forget any war –Vietnam, the World Wars, Korea, or the Mid-East confrontations or the details that helped us to rise above these conflicts. It is because of those who defended us that we enjoy our independence. And despite some of our nation’s recent challenges, it is still the land of the free and the home of the brave.

As we honor those who have sacrificed their lives for our country on this Memorial Day, let’s never forget and always be reminded of the price these dear soldiers paid for the privilege of our freedom. Even if the reminder is a small metal wrist band imprinted with the name of an unknown Air Force navigator.

GLAD TO BE ALIVE

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I’m watching the couple across the lagoon where I live as they sit in the backyard and rock on a swing built for two.  I have a bird’s eye view and am feeling a little voyeuristic as I observe them, but from where I’m sitting in the sunroom, it’s hard to ignore them. They turn their faces upward toward the sun as a gentle breeze ruffles their hair – or what’s left of it.  I don’t know their whole story, but I do know she owns the house on the corner and he lives next door. His wife died, then her husband and somehow they became a couple. I’ve seen them going back and forth between the houses. Their children are grown and visit now and then, especially during the summer.

They’re very playful at the moment.  He leans over and gives her a kiss, then another.  He sits back with his hands behind his neck looking up at the sky smiling, and then lets one arm drop around her shoulder pulling her in for a hug.  They are animatedly chatting about something and are pointing at things around the yard. He leans over and starts tickling her, and she is playfully pushing him away. They are giggling.  He leans in for another kiss (boy, he’s frisky for an old goat!)  and then they get up from the swing and walk between the houses holding hands until they disappear around the corner.

It’s so heart warming to see older folks in love. It gives you hope that no matter what you’ve been through, it’s never too late to try again.  Getting older doesn’t mean you have to give up on love.  You can still be optimistic that you’ll find that special someone who will make you giggle as you rock on a swing on a warm spring day and feel glad to be alive.

ANNUS HORRIBILIS

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Annus Horribilis, the Latin term for “horrible year” or “year of horribles,” is a good definition of how my life has evolved during the past few years. You name it, it’s happened, and I wonder how in the world I’ve managed to make it past the situations life has presented. Miraculously, here I…still standing.

Who hasn’t had a year, or sometimes years, like this with their own set of unique challenges?  All are fueled by different situations – the economy – the stock market – health – life stages – or just plain old bad luck. It seems like that gray cloud will just not go away. You rise and you fall.  You stand up and get knocked down and discover worlds of possibility in the struggle to get back on your feet. The key is to keep mustering up the strength to overcome and have faith in a better tomorrow.  You have to keep holding on and believing it will get better, and, suddenly, it does.

I’ve grown through my circumstances and could certainly not have become the person I’ve become without having walked through the fire. I am stronger.  I am wiser.  My heart has softened.  My spirit has turned outward from myself to others.  Being in need has taught me how to help those who have nothing. Knowing hunger has made me sensitive to those who struggle for their daily bread. Empty pockets have made me a believer in giving whatever I can and doing as much as I can for those less fortunate. I’ve found that you don’t need money to give.

The challenges we have been called to master are the reasons why we’ve become the people we are meant to be. Without the situations we have come to terms with, we could not possibly comprehend the sufferings or weaknesses of those we are called to help.

Are our troubles and sufferings really Annus Horribilus?  Or are they Benedictio Dei (God’s blessings)?  I think we all know the answer. Embrace them.

 

LESSON FROM A SEAGULL

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I watched a seagull suspended in the sky this morning as if on a string.  It seemed odd that he wasn’t moving forward or backward or left or right.  He was floating in place on the breeze perfectly balanced by the power of the wind beneath its wings. He seemed to be taking pleasure in the serenity of the lift without having to exert any energy.

I feel like that seagull right now because I am also hovering in space without any direction.  I’m not moving forward or backward or left or right. I should be enjoying the lift and just let the breeze carry me where I need to go. Instead, I worry too much about the future and what it may hold.  I worry that I’ll go off in a direction I shouldn’t go. I worry that I’ll fall to the ground.

If only I could let go and enjoy the ride like that seagull and trust that God is holding me in the palm of His hand. All the energy I really need to exert is the faith that He is working in my life. I have a habit, though, of loosing my focus and giving into the anxiety in my mind.  I do trust that soon the wind will pick up again and I’ll start moving in the direction I was meant to go.

So for now, I’ll try to relax and just enjoy the lift, let go and let God.

THE SWEET NECTAR OF YOUTH

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The sweet scent of honeysuckles engulfed my senses this morning as I walked Bella along the causeway to the bay.  I was immediately thrown back in time where as a little girl I walked along the path to Switlik Park where these gorgeous little flowers grew wild on a hedge. Along with my best friend Gayle, we passed them hundreds of times during the course of our childhoods. We would pick the white flowers and suck on their sweet nectar as we talked a lot about nothing at all on lazy summer days. The taste and fragrance of the sweet blossoms is forever embedded in my memory.

Those were simpler times without worry, at least for two little girls growing up in small town Yardville, New Jersey. Early each summer morning we would walk to the neighborhood pool for swimming lessons. We’d go home for lunch and then walk back again where we’d swing on the swings, belly laugh as we tried to “bump” each other off the seesaw or explore the woods.  It was a safer world. We’d go back to the pool where we’d play games in the water until we’d turn blue then lounge in the warm sun all afternoon talking about boys.

I feel sorry for the kids today who don’t enjoy the simpler pleasures we did, those who stay indoors and waste their time on gadgets and computers, video games and TV. They’ll never have the opportunity to enjoy discovering tadpoles in the creek or baby birds nesting. I’m glad we didn’t have all that technology that now occupies all of our time and energy. The obesity that’s so rampant in the youth of this generation just didn’t exist way back when. Kids in my “Stone Age” years never sat still long enough.  We were always outside “getting some fresh air” as my Mom would say, with lots of walking, running or riding our bikes around the neighborhood. We’d make up hundreds of games using nothing but our imaginations. Back home for dinner we’d go, then outside once more to catch lightning bugs and play hide and seek in the dark with all the neighborhood kids. We fell into bed exhausted only to start over the next day.

It’s amazing how you can be catapulted back in time to reminisce about those almost forgotten days by the unexpected whiff of a flowering bush. It’s a reminder of how grateful I am for the gift of my childhood…and for the gift of honeysuckles.