Tag Archives: Tom Hanks



feather2For most of my life I have felt like a feather in the wind. Like the one in Forrest Gump. The feather that symbolizes destiny and/or dumb blind luck. Forrest muses that maybe it’s a little mixture of both. It seems to point to an accidental kind of life, but it always shows up at just the right time, so maybe destiny brought it there. I ‘m not sure what I believe.

I’ve been blown this way and that way all of my life depending on the shift of air currents.  I, unfortunately, was one who rarely followed anything through to the end, instead giving up or getting bored and catching another breeze shifting me in another direction. At the beginning I set out with grandiosity in mind.  But I wasn’t as assertive or maybe as ambitious as I should have been.  So, instead of forging ahead with my own thoughts about how I wanted my life to play out, I let other people influence me and opposition to get in the way. I let it hold me back until I started to lack the strength to keep moving forward.  Instead I floated, like that proverbial feather, letting the shift of the wind carry me to wherever it happened to go. Obviously that grandiose picture of my life in my own head was not the destiny that was intended for me. Or could it have been different if I tried harder?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been blown to some amazing places in my life, and for the most part, I’m thankful for the experiences I’ve witnessed. I have had much happiness and joy.  It’s just now, during the impending autumn of my life that I feel a restlessness like I didn’t do enough to satisfy myself.  Wait, that’s not exactly true. I have felt restless all of my life. Fact. And currently I’m trying to come to grips with what seems next to impossible to achieve. Is mediocrity all that looms in the distance? If it is, I wish I could be content with just that. As I think back, there were many times in my life that I wish I could have just shot a little lower and been satisfied. But I never was and still am not. I often wonder if this is really it because restlessness overwhelms me and satisfaction eludes me. What will it take to bring me to that place? To bring me to peace?

These are just the things I’m pondering on a gray, rainy day. I’m sure most people contemplate the same at one point in their life or another for reasons different from mine.  There are no answers for the moment, and the contentedness I pray for evades me. Since I just can’t seem to get to that place, I figure that maybe I still have more to reach for even at this late date.

Forrest’s advice (and mine):  Don’t be a feather in the wind.  Take ownership of your life.

Keep reaching for and doing what makes you happy. Just keep running the race.

And that’s all I’m going to say about that.




Yesterday afternoon was chilly and stormy, and I got to do what I love best on a day like that – curl up on the couch with a blanket and watch an old (1995) romantic comedy. Honestly, nothing is better than that for me. I’m very low maintenance.

fk2I was lucky enough to come across one of my old favorites.  I hate to call it “old.”  I prefer the word “timeless.”  The movie was “French Kiss” starring Meg Ryan (of course – she seems to be in all my timeless favorites) and Kevin Kline (as opposed to the usual favorite Tom Hanks).  In this movie we have a headstrong, conservative “have life all figured out and organized the way she wants it to play out” Kate and a scruffy, rough-around-the-edges, living life on the edge Frenchman, Luc.  Kate’s planning her wedding as her fiancé Charlie flies off to France on business. While there, he meets and falls in love with a sexy little French kitten, and a monkey wrench is thrown into everyone’s plans. (I love animal metaphors.) When Kate flies out to win Charlie back, she meets Luc and is instantly repulsed by him, of course.  Well, this happens and that happens, and one thing leads to another, and yes, you know the ending…her life is turned topsy-turvy, and she ends up falling madly in love with Luc and living in a stone house on a hill with a breath-taking view of the French wine countryside where they live their lives in the end cultivating their fk3own vineyard.  Heavy sigh….

I love crap like this…I really do.  Nothing warms my heart more than watching the intricacies, however predictable, of human nature where life doesn’t work out the way you planned but love conquers all in the end.  It’s what I live and breathe for.  I guess I can be labeled as one of those crazy, hopeless romantics.  But I just can’t let it go.

Life hasn’t worked out the way I planned, indeed.  But I know my twisted turn of fate is coming soon where I’ll meet “the one” across a crowded room (I’m obsessed with that scenario), and I’ll live happily ever after. Until then…there’s always the Hallmark channel…and I think “Sleepless in Seattle” is on this weekend. 🙂 Time to grab my blanket!

If you have a moment, take a listen to some of the songs in movie, including my theme song by Van Morrison, “Someone Like You.”



I am, with good reason, not all that anxious to get back into the dating game.  It’s been many moons since I’ve had a first date.  Most of the time I’m pretty content being alone, but there are times when solitaire leaves a lot to be desired.  Let’s just say that I’ve known lonely. Fact is, I haven’t really met anyone who sparks that little indescribable something that makes a heart go pitter pat.  Sometimes I feel like I’m at the end of my romance rope, and things like that are over for me.  It wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen.

But I have to admit that I hope, at times, that I would just naturally meet someone across a crowded room.  My daughters insist that only happens in the movies and not in the “real world.” I admit that I watch way too many romantic comedies involving Tom Hanks. So my girls kept pushing me to go on a dating website that will remain nameless.  I only reluctantly agreed because it was offering a cheap one-month special wherein I had nothing to lose.  What was I thinking?!?dating

At first there were a lot of over-seventy types trying to throw me a line.  I mean, I know old age is catching up with me, but I don’t want it crawling all over me, too! One of them was an Aristotle Onassis-type in gold sunglasses and jewelry sprawled across his very large boat/yacht in a very small swimsuit (gag) calling me Princessa. Another looked close to eighty with huge old-fashioned glasses and a ball cap inscribed with “FBI” sitting in a recliner in a rumpled shirt. Wow, hold me back!  But, mister, really, there’s a new invention called an iron…especially if you’re posing for a picture meant to attract the opposite sex!  Still another put a succession of photos up insisting that although he was 75, his friends said he looked 55 (not by these pictures, buddy) and that “everything” was in working order.  (Are you kidding me…I mean, seriously?!)  I guess to them I am considered the younger woman, which is flattering in a way, or pathetic in another, depending on the way you look at it, or maybe they’re just looking for a future caregiver in more ways than  one.  Maybe if I were attracted to someone around that age, it wouldn’t be an issue.  But really?!?

There were a couple of “age appropriate” gentlemen (term used lightly) who messaged me, but I just wasn’t that into them.  There was a flirty man who had his dog talk for him since I am animal lover, but when I messaged him back with my dog doing the talking, I never heard from him again.  Yes, it is all weird, trust me.  Recently, actually the day before this one-month special deal was ending, I finally had two men simultaneously email me whom I found interesting.  One was attractive in a sweet way, who had kind eyes and looked harmless.  The second was a hot dog posting 15 narcissistic pictures of himself in various poses along with his motor cycle and bike and wearing various outfits from swimsuits to Halloween costumes.  The latter I recognized as a local professional whom I’ve dealt with.  He didn’t seem to recognize me, which is good.  But his emails were quirky, and I couldn’t help but quirk back. Then, since he was also new on this website, he asked me how I was doing on it…meaning how’s the action?  Am I weird, or is that a stupid question to ask someone you might be interested in?  Heh, how’re you going here?  Is it full of action?  Do you think I can get some? (Ah, bye, bye, Birdie, on your not-so-hot motorcycle.)

The other kind-faced guy seemed warm and welcoming and innocent.  “Oh, why not?”  I decided after he had emailed me a few times, and I hadn’t answered.  I finally sent him a brief “getting to know you” email.  The next morning I got an email from him,  “Heh, thanks for the phone call.  Sorry I missed you, but I was outside working on my house, so please call me again and leave your number, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Ah, excuse me, but  I didn’t call you,  and you didn’t give me your number, not that I wanted it, knucklehead. You should try to keep your women straight, OK?!  I didn’t actually use those words, but when I sent him an “Oops” email that I wasn’t the one who called he wrote back, “I guess it was just wishful thinking that it would be you :).”  (Yes, he actually did put a smiley face at the end of the sentence.  Mr. Smooth, right?) Watch out for those innocent-looking ones…

Maybe I’m just plain gun shy, but I decided to delete the account.  I’m content, for now, to just keep looking across a crowded room.

P.S.  Sorry for the overuse of air quotes…it’s better than expletives :).

Celebrity Crushes


Out of sheer boredom, or maybe the need to be warply entertained, I started watching the television show, “Millionaire Matchmaker.”  It’s interesting to realize that even rich people don’t have any idea about what dating etiquette is all about. Some even belong in the “no clue at all” category. One of the first questions host Patti Stanger asks her clients is “Who is your celebrity crush?” From that answer she gets a feel about what type of appearance and personal traits her client is looking for so that she can weave her magic with perfect matches.

This has gotten me to thinking about who my celebrity crush might be. The celebrity crush thing for me actually started a long time ago in a galaxy far away.  At the age of 7 or 8, my first celebrity crush was Jerry Lewis.  (Yes, I was a weird kid.) He made me belly laugh, and, apparently, that is the most important thing 7-year-olds are attracted to. I also thought he was cute and loved watching his movies, although I could never figure out why he wore his hair long and greased back on the sides with a flat top.  Didn’t matter, when he went into that stupid slapstick circle dance with arms and legs flailing, I just could not resist him. But then I found out he was married with 5 or 6 kids, and we were finished. After all, I was Catholic.  Plus, I started a real life crush on a kid named Brian who lived around the corner and focused on tormenting him instead.

At the age of 13 I saw my first risqué movie, “The Graduate.” By today’s movie standards, this movie is a walk in the park. Well, out of this movie came my Dustin Hoffman phase.  Short and dark did it for me.  And, he had a cute smile and was a little naughty. (What I knew about naughty at that age was next to nothing, but I was curious.) It’s then that I decided I was going to become an actress, star with him in a major motion picture and marry him right after I graduated from high school. I had it all figured out. Little did I know that in senior year things would change with the release of “The Godfather.”  Move over, Dustin; enter short, dark, smoldering Al Pacino.  Al started my whole “want to be a mafia wife” phase. I mean, who couldn’t resist Al Pacino, for gosh sakes?!  Those fiery brown eyes held me captive. When he said, “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse,” I wanted him to know I wouldn’t have refused any offer he made.  And it would be strictly personal, not business with Al, let me tell you.  I can’t tell you how many times I saw that movie just dreaming of a chance to “go to the mattresses” with him. Once I even saw him get out of a taxi on the streets of New York and followed him down the street like a stalker until he ducked into the backstage door of a theatre, thwarting my attempt to…well, I’m not really sure what I would have done with him if I caught him. That’s better left unsaid.

I’ve had a succession of other crushes in between that didn’t last nearly as long as these did. I even had a thing for Woody Allen for awhile because I completely got his humor, was a groupie for his movies and thought he was brilliant.  I also have an unprecedented weakness for musicians – Springsteen, Carradine, Fogelberg, any one of the Eagles, etc., but that’s another blog for another day.

Now that I’m older and wiser, my taste in celebrity crushes has shifted but in some regards has come full circle. Tom Hanks is my current crush simply because he makes me laugh.  Not in the Jerry Lewis slapstick or the Woody Allen sarcasm sense of the word, but in the witty, wisecracking, exaggerated, rhetorical kind of way. In addition, he’s got the “cute” factor.  The bottom line is I’m looking for a man who can make me laugh and is kind of cute. Is that too much to ask?  Just in case Patti wants to know…not that I’m a millionaire or anything…